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Sunday, January 31st, 2010

    Time Event
    12:38a
    The first question I got from an American...
    The first question I got from an American reporter was a request to reply to the stinging rebuke I had received the day before on the floor of the Senate from my longtime friend Joe LiebermanI replied, I agree with what he said I made a bad mistake, it was indefensible, and Im sorry about itSome of our staff were upset that Joe attacked me while I was overseas, but I wasntI knew he was a devoutly religious man who was angry about what I had done, and he had carefully avoided saying that I should be impeached

    Our last stop in Ireland was in Limerick, where fifty thousand supporters of peace filled the streets, including the relatives of one member of our delegation, Congressman Peter King of New York, who had brought his mother home for the eventI told the crowd that my friend Frank McCourt had memorialized the old Limerick in Angelas Ashes, but I liked the new one better

    On September 9, Ken Starr sent his 445-page report to Congress, alleging eleven impeachable offensesEven with all the crimes of Watergate, Leon Jaworski hadnt done thatThe independent counsel was supposed to report his findings to Congress if he found substantial and credible evidence to support an impeachment; Congress was supposed to decide whether there were grounds for impeachmentThe report was made public on the eleventh; omega chronograph watches Jaworskis never wasIn Starrs report, the word sex appeared more than five hundred times; Whitewater was mentioned twiceHe and his allies thought they could wash away all their sins over the last four years in my dirty laundry

    On September 10, I called the cabinet to the White House and apologized to themMany of them didnt know what to sayThey believed in what we were doing and appreciated the opportunity I had given them to serve, but most of them felt I had been selfish and stupid and had left them hanging for eight monthsMadeleine Albright led off, saying that I had done wrong and she was disappointed, but our only option was to go back to workDonna Shalala was tougher, saying it was important for leaders to be good people as well as to have good policiesMy longtime friends James Lee Witt and Rodney Slater talked about the power of redemption, and quoted scriptureBruce Babbitt, a Catholic, talked about the power of confessionCarol Browner said she had been forced to talk with her son about subjects she never thought shed have to discuss with him

    Listening to my cabinet, I really understood for the first time the extent to which the exposure of my misconduct and my dishonesty about it had opened a Pandoras box of emotions in the American peopleIt was easy enough to say that I had been through a lot in the omega aqua terra watch past six years, and that Starrs inquisition had been awful and the Jones lawsuit was bogus and politically motivated; easy enough to say that even a Presidents personal life should remain privateBut once what I had done was out there in all its stark ugliness, peoples evaluations of it were inevitably a reflection of their own personal experiences, marked not only by their convictions but also by their own fears, disappointments, and heartbreak

    My cabinets honest and very different reactions gave me a direct sense of what was going on in conversations all across AmericaAs the impeachment hearings grew closer, I received many letters from friends and strangers alikeSome of the letter writers offered touching words of support and encouragement; some told their own stories of failure and recovery; some expressed outrage over the actions of Starr; some were full of condemnation and disappointment over what I had done; and still others reflected a combination of all these viewsReading the letters helped me to deal with my own emotions, and to remember that if I wanted to be forgiven, I had to forgive

    The atmosphere in the Yellow Oval Room remained awkward and tense until Bob Rubin spokeRubin was the one person in the room who best understood what my life had been like for the last four yearsHe had been through cheap chanel knock off bags an exhaustive investigation of Goldman Sachs that featured one of his partners being hauled away in handcuffs before he was clearedAfter several others had spoken, Rubin said, with characteristic bluntness, Theres no question you screwed upBut we all make mistakes, even big onesIn my opinion, the bigger issue is the disproportion of the media coverage and the hypocrisy of some of your criticsThe atmosphere got better after thatIm grateful that no one quitWe all went back to work

    On September 15, I hired Greg Craig, a fine lawyer and old friend of Hillarys and mine from law school, to work with Chuck Ruff, David Kendall, Bruce Lindsay, Cheryl Mills, Lanny Breuer, and Nicole Seligman on my defense teamOn the eighteenth, just as I knew they would, the House Judiciary Committee voted on a straight party-line vote to release the video of my grand jury testimony to the public

    A few days later, Hillary and I hosted our annual breakfast for religious leaders at the White HouseWe usually discussed shared public concernsThis time I asked for their prayers during my personal travail:

    I have been on quite a journey these last few weeks to get to the end of this, to the rock-bottom truth of where I am and where we all areI agree with those who have said that in my first statement after I testified, I was not best fake tiffany and co contrite enoughI dont think there is a fancy way to say that I have sinned

    I said that I was sorry for all who had been hurtmy family, friends, staff, cabinet, and Monica Lewinsky and her family; that I had asked for their forgiveness; and that I would pursue counseling from pastors and others to find, with Gods help, a willingness to give the very forgiveness I seek, a renunciation of the pride and the anger which cloud judgment, lead people to excuse and compare and to blame and complainI also said I would mount a vigorous defense in response to the charges against me and would intensify my efforts to do my job in the hope that with a broken spirit and a still strong heart I can be used for greater good

    I had asked three pastors to counsel me at least once a month for an indefinite period: Phil Wogaman, our minister at Foundry Methodist Church; my friend Tony Campolo; and Gordon MacDonald, a minister and author of several books I had read on living ones faithThey would more than fulfill their commitment, usually coming to the White House together, sometimes separatelyWe would pray, read scripture, and discuss some things I had never really talked about beforeThe Reverend Bill Hybels from Chicago also continued to come to the White House regularly, to ask searching questions designed to check my spiritual cartier santos white heal
    12:44a
    But Rhett, what are you going to say? You can't...
    But Rhett,
    what are you going to say? You can't just walk in and haul Tommy out
    by the scruff of the neck Alicia put her hands on each side of Rhett's face
    and kissed him softly on the lips"It's good to have you back home
    again, neighbor Rhett was sitting on the
    Coopers' piazza drinking tea with Tommy's mother when the boy came
    homeCooper introduced her son to Rhett, then sent him inside
    to
    leave his schoolbooks and wash his hands and faceButler is
    going
    to take you to histailor, TommyHe has a nephew in Aiken who's
    growing as fast as you are and he needs you to try on things so he can
    pick out a Christmas present that will fit Out of sight of the
    adults Tommy grimaced horriblyThen he remembered bits and
    pieces
    he'd heard about Rhett's chanel classic jumbo flap bag flamboyant youth and he decided he'd be
    happy
    to go along and help out MrMaybe he'd even find the nerve
    to ask MrButler a few questions about things that were bothering
    him
    Tommy didn't have to askAs soon as they were well away from the
    house, Rhett put an arm around the boy's shoulders"Tom," he said,
    "I
    have it in mind to teach you a few valuable lessonsThe first is how
    to lie convincingly to a motherWhile we're riding on the streetcar,
    you and I will talk in some detail about my tailor and his shop and his
    habitsYou'll practice with my assistance until you've got your story
    straightBecause I don't have a nephew in Aiken, and we're not on
    our
    way to the tailorWe're going to ride to the end of the Rutledge
    Avenue line, then go for a chanel bags to buy healthy walk to the house where I want you
    to meet some friends of mineTommy Cooper agreed without
    argument
    He was accustomed to having his elders tell him what to do, and he
    liked
    the way MrButler called him "Tom
    Before the afternoon was over and Tom was delivered back to his
    mother,
    the boy was looking at Rhett with such hero-worship in his young eyes
    that Rhett knew he'd be saddled with Tom Cooper for years to come
    He
    was also confident that Tom would never forget the friends they'd
    gone
    to seeAmong Charleston's many historic "firsts" was the first
    recorded whorehouse "for gentlemen only It had moved its location
    many times in the nearly two centuries of its existence, uppose the
    train's early, Rhett?" Eleanor Butler looked at the clock for gucci bags china the tenth
    time in two minutes"I hate to think of Rosemary being at the station
    with nobody there when it's getting darkHer maid's only
    half-trained, you knowAnd half-witted, too, to my way of thinking
    I don't know why Rosemary puts up with her
    "That train has never in its history been less than forty minutes late,
    Mama, and even if it were on time, that's a half hour from now
    "I asked you most particularly to allow plenty of time to get thereI
    should have gone myself, like I planned when I didn't know you'd be
    home
    "Try not to fret, Mama
    Rhett explained again what he had already told his mother"I hired a
    hackney to pick me up in ten minutesThen it's a five-minute ride to
    the stationI'll be fifteen minutes early, the train will be an cartier pasha c watches hour
    late or more, and Rosemary will arrive home on my arm just in time
    for
    supper
    "May I ride with you, Rhett? I'd love a breath of air Scarlett
    pictured the hour enclosed in the small cab of the hackneyShe'd ask
    Rhett all about his sister, he'd like thatHe was crazy about
    Rosemary
    And if he talked enough, then maybe Scarlett would know what to
    expect
    She was terrified that Rosemary wouldn't like her, that she'd be
    another RossHer brother-in-law's florid letter of apology had done
    nothing to make her stop loathing him"No, my dear, you may not
    ride
    with meI want you to stay just as you are on that couch with the
    compresses on your eyesThey're still swollen from sunburn 'Do
    you
    want me to come, dear?" MrsButler rolled up her tatting to put christian dior china it
    aw

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