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Monday, February 15th, 2010

    Time Event
    12:32a
    I haven't words beautiful enough to describe itAt...
    I haven't words beautiful enough to describe itAt Coblenz we had a lovely time, for some students from Bonn, with whom Fred got acquainted on the boat, gave us a serenadeIt was a moonlight night, and about one o'clock Flo and I were waked by the most delicious music under our windowsWe flew up, and hid behind the curtains, but sly peeps showed us Fred and the students singing away down belowIt was the most romantic thing I ever saw--the river, the bridge of boats, the great fortress opposite, moonlight everywhere, and music fit to melt a heart of stone
    When they were done we threw down some flowers, and saw them scramble for them, kiss their hands to the invisible ladies, and go laughing away, to smoke and drink beer, I supposeNext morning Fred showed me one of the crumpled flowers in his vest pocket, and looked very sentimentalI laughed at him, and said I didn't throw it, but Flo, which seemed to disgust him, for he tossed it out of the window, and turned sensible againI'm afraid I'm going to have trouble with that boy, it begins to look like it
    The baths at dior handbag sale Nassau were very gay, so was Baden-Baden, where Fred lost some money, and I scolded himHe needs someone to look after him when Frank is not with himKate said once she hoped he'd marry soon, and I quite agree with her that it would be well for himFrankfurt was delightfulI saw Goeth's house, Schiller's statue, and Dannecker's famous AriadneIt was very lovely, but I should have enjoyed it more if I had known the story betterI didn't like to ask, as everyone knew it or pretended they didI wish Jo would tell me all about itI ought to have read more, for I find I don't know anything, and it mortifies me

    Now comes the serious part, for it happened here, and Fred has just goneHe has been so kind and jolly that we all got quite fond of himI never thought of anything but a traveling friendship till the serenade nightSince then I've begun to feel that the moonlight walks, balcony talks, and daily adventures were something more to him than funI haven't flirted, Mother, truly, but remembered what you said to me, and have done my very bestI can't help it if people like meI don't louis vuitton bag try to make them, and it worries me if I don't care for them, though Jo says I haven't got any heartNow I know Mother will shake her head, and the girls say, "Oh, the mercenary little wretch!", but I've made up my mind, and if Fred asks me, I shall accept him, though I'm not madly in loveI like him, and we get on comfortably togetherHe is handsome, young, clever enough, and very rich--ever so much richer than the LaurencesI don't think his family would object, and I should be very happy, for they are all kind, well-bred, generous people, and they like meFred, as the eldest twin, will have the estate, I suppose, and such a splendid one it is! A city house in a fashionable street, not so showy as our big houses, but twice as comfortable and full of solid luxury, such as English people believe inI like it, for it's genuineI've seen the plate, the family jewels, the old servants, and pictures of the country place, with its park, great house, lovely grounds, and fine horsesOh, it would be all I should ask! And I'd rather have it than any title such as girls snap up so rolex fakes readily, and find nothing behindI may be mercenary, but I hate poverty, and don't mean to bear it a minute longer than I can helpOne of us must marry wellMeg didn't, Jo won't, Beth can't yet, so I shall, and make everything okay all roundI wouldn't marry a man I hated or despisedYou may be sure of that, and though Fred is not my model hero, he does very well, and in time I should get fond enough of him if he was very fond of me, and let me do just as I likedSo I've been turning the matter over in my mind the last week, for it was impossible to help seeing that Fred liked meHe said nothing, but little things showed itHe never goes with Flo, always gets on my side of the carriage, table, or promenade, looks sentimental when we are alone, and frowns at anyone else who ventures to speak tomeYesterday at dinner, when an Austrian officer stared at us and then said something to his friend, a rakish-looking baron, about `ein wonderschones Blondchen', Fred looked as fierce as a lion, and cut his meat so savagely it nearly flew off his plateHe isn't one of the cool, stiff ladies omega watches Englishmen, but is rather peppery, for he has Scotch blood in him, as one might guess from his bonnie blue eyes
    Well, last evening we went up to the castle about sunset, at least all of us but Fred, who was to meet us there after going to the Post Restante for lettersWe had a charming time poking about the ruins, the vaults where the monster tun is, and the beautiful gardens made by the elector long ago for his English wifeI liked the great terrace best, for the view was divine, so while the rest went to see the rooms inside, I sat there trying to sketch the gray stone lion's head on the wall, with scarlet woodbine sprays hanging round itI felt as if I'd got into a romance, sitting there, watching the Meckar rolling through the valley, listening to the music of the Austrian band below, and waiting for my lover, like a real storybook girlI had a feeling that something was going to happen and I was ready for itI didn't feel blushy or quakey, but quite cool and only a little excited
    By-and-by I heard Fred's voice, and then he came hurrying through the great arch to find chanel bag black and white me
    12:37a
    Because she hadn't really loved Ashley; she'd...
    Because she hadn't
    really loved Ashley; she'd known that for a long time
    She'd only wanted what she couldn't have and called that loveI
    threw
    away over ten years on the false love, too, and I lost Rhett, the man I
    really lovedOr did I? She searched her memory, in spite of the
    painIt always hurt to think about Rhett, about losing him, about her
    failureIt eased the pain some when she thought about the way he'd
    treated her and hatred burned away the hurtBut for the most part,
    she managed to keep him out of her mind; it was less disturbing
    During these long days with nothing to do, however, her mind kept
    going
    back over her prada black bags life, and she couldn't avoid remembering himHad she
    loved him? I must have, she thought, I must love him still, or my
    heart wouldn't ache the way it does when I see his smile in my mind,
    hear his voiceBut for ten years she had conjured up Ashley in the
    same way, imagining his smile and his voiceAnd I wanted Rhett
    most
    after he left me, Scarlett's deep core of honesty reminded herIt was
    too confusing
    It made her head ache, even more than her heartShe wouldn't think
    about itIt was much better to think about Cat, to think about how
    happy she wasTo think about happiness? I was happy even before
    Cat
    cameI was happy from the day I black gucci bags went to Jamie's houseNot like
    now,
    I didn't dream anybody could ever feel as happy as I do every time I
    look at Cat, every time I hold her, or feed herBut I was happy, all
    the same, because the O 'Haras took me just the way I wasThey
    never
    expected me to be just like them, they never made me feel I had to
    change, they never made me feel I was wrong
    Even when I was wrongI had no call to expect Kathleen to do my
    hair
    and mend my clothes and make my bedI was putting on airs
    With people who never did anything so tacky as put on airs
    themselves
    But they never said, "Oh, stop putting on airs, Scarlett No, they
    just let me do orange hermes birkin what I was doing and accepted me, airs and allI was awful wrong about Daniel and all moving to
    BallyharaI was trying to make them be a credit to meI wanted
    them
    to live in grand houses and be grand farmers with lots of land and
    hired hands to do most of the workI wanted to change themI
    never
    wondered what they wantedI didn't take them just the way they
    were
    Oh, I'm never going to do that to Cat
    I'm never going to make her different from what she isI'm always
    going to love her like I do now-with my whole heart, no matter what
    Mother never loved me like I love CatOr Suellen or Carreen,
    either
    She wanted me to be different from tiffany round tag necklace me, she wanted me to be just like
    herAll of us, that's what she wanted from all three 'of usScarlett recoiled from what was in her headShe'd always
    believed her mother was perfectIt was unthinkable that Ellen O 'Hara
    could ever be wrong about anything
    But the thought would not go awayIt returned again and again when
    she was unprepared to shut it outIt returned in different guises,
    with different embellishmentsIt would not leave her aloneBeing a lady like her isn't the only way to beIt isn't
    even always the best way to beNot if it doesn't make you happy
    Happy is the best way to be because then you can let other people be
    happy, balenciaga magenta pre owned t

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